positive thinking

How do you know you are Prepared to change your Relationship with Food?

food, health, positive thinking, therapy, Uncategorized, weight loss, wellness

At age 28 I woke up to prepare for work like any other day, except that day when I opened my closet I had no clothes that fit, nothing to wear for work. I froze for a minute in fear then decided I needed to do something. I remembered attending weight watcher meetings with my Mom at age 5, so I called in sick to work, found a meeting and became a weight watcher that day. I walked through the door scared, embarrassed but determined to do whatever I needed to do, whatever they told me to do to lose weight and get healthy. I lost 25 pounds in 2 years. That may seem like a long time to some, but I was more interested in learning and changing so I could keep it off for a long time. So 28 years later I have sustained that weight loss, plus a little more.

I worked 10 years in the weight loss industry, but early on I discovered a food relationship is so much more than I could ever imagine. That fueled my passion to pursue a career as a Psychotherapist helping adults understand their current disordered food relationship and create a sustainable one supported by psychological, behavior and lifestyle factors.

This post will introduce you to the Psychological factors of readiness, change, success-failure of weight loss and maintenance.

Readiness: Dr. Kelly Brownell and other researchers in the field of obesity believe one of the most predictors of weight loss success is one’s psychological readiness to follow a program. Determining ahead of time which factors might stand in the way of your losing weight gives you a chance to correct them so that you can focus your energy on getting weight healthy.

Transtheoretical Model of behavior change (Stages of Change): originally used to define changes in addictive behavior, it has been applied to the adoption of positive health behaviors. It has 5 distinct stages in the change process: precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action and maintenance. These stages represent the “readiness” of an individual to make a change.

Attribution Theory: Psychologist Bernard Weiner found that the difference between achievers and non-achievers doesn’t depend on the number of failures or successes a person has, but rather on the conclusions one draws about why those successes and failures happened. In general if a person “attributes” failure to a personal defect-like incompetence-and explains success as a stroke of luck, then he is reasoning like a pessimist. An optimistic attitude generates hope and persistence-which, coincidentally, are the ingredients required to make permanent weight-loss changes. Ignoring difficulties doesn’t make them disappear-focusing on solutions does. The positive perspective must take reality into account for it to work.

This is just an introduction to the world of healing a food relationship utilizing psychological constructs. One of the most fundamental building blocks of nutritional metabolism is our relationship with food, or our food psychology paradigm – the sum total of our innermost thoughts and feelings about what we eat. Our relationship with food is as deep and revealing as any we might ever have in life.

I help adults conquer eating issues, calm anxiety, and recover happiness at any age.

Nourish Yourself for a Lifetime of Weight Health.

health, nutrition, positive thinking, self care, weight, wellness

Eating is a natural part of digestive rhythms set in your genes, largely controlled by two hormones, leptin and ghrelin. When these hormones are in balance, the alternation between being hungry and being satisfied is also in balance. But these simple facts about the physiology are beside the point when weight becomes a problem.

A Wellness-System Approach to Weight Control

The real problem with weight issues is holistic, involving a person’s entire lifestyle. A better approach to weight control is a wellness-system approach, which looks at everything that goes into being overweight: eating habits, sleep, self-image, core beliefs, exercise, and more. These elements are rarely isolated. Instead, they organize themselves into feedback loops. Like a train running around a circular track, letting passengers off and on at each stop, a feedback loop has inputs and outputs.

If much of your daily input is positive, you are creating mostly positive experiences. If your daily input is negative, the reverse is true. For anyone who has struggled with weight gain, it’s almost certainly true that there is too much negative input on a daily basis. Even the simple pleasure of eating can become part of the negativity, because mentally and emotionally, food has become part of a larger problem.

These feedback loops exist so that you can cope with life and hopefully thrive. Take one element—good sleep. The most basic function of sleep is to revive you when you’re tired and supply mental alertness when you wake up in the morning. But sleep can be thrown out of balance by all kinds of things: anxiety, pain, excessive noise, mental restlessness, habitual insomnia, night shifts at work, and so on. Far from being a simple mechanism, sleep adapts itself to a person’s lifestyle, and even though there is negative input, such as being too anxious to fall asleep, the body-mind will find a way to cope. Even the worst insomnia is marked by periods of sleep during the night.

Positive Coping Mechanisms

If you look at the coping mechanisms that make life positive, they aren’t a mystery. Here are the main ones that need to be reinforced every day:

Good self-image
Sense of purpose and meaning
Contact with friends and family
Giving and receiving love
Good sleep
Physical activity
Alone time and quiet time
Play
Social support systems
Absence of pain and discomfort
Low stress levels
Absence of anxiety and depression.

Coping with Weight Is Not About Diet

Although the list could also include “a nourishing whole foods diet,” let’s leave food out for the moment, because instead of attending to all of these positive reinforcements, people who struggle with weight are asking food to do too much of the work. For example, it becomes a surrogate for a good self-image or a quick fix for anxiety.

To cope with weight doesn’t come down to anything about diet; if it did, dieting would work. But only about 2 percent of dieters manage to lose at least five lbs. and keep it off for two years. Naturally, weight is much harder to control if a person indulges in a fatty, sugary diet with lots of snacking and fast food. None of that counts as healthy eating. But asking someone to give up the foods they feel compelled to eat is the same as saying, “Stop being compulsive.” If we could obey such an instruction, we’d all be at our ideal weight.

Looking from a wellness-system perspective, coping with weight means coping with how your entire life is going. Weight will come off and stay off when the other input in your daily life is so satisfying that food no longer looms as the first and foremost coping mechanism you rely upon. Overeating is a habit, no doubt, and habits stick around when they serve a purpose, however misguided. If you fulfill the purpose in a better way, the need for the habit decreases and in time goes away.

I advise taking a wellness-system look at yourself, with the intention of fulfilling your real needs in life:

purpose
meaning
creativity
renewal
love
self-worth
other positive elements on the list above

When you build a self that is life-enhancing rather than self-defeating, all kinds of problems decrease and vanish.

How to Add Positivity into Your Life

So, to go back to the image of a train circling the track, picking up and letting off passengers, you can start today by adding a little positive input and letting go of a little negative input. Your motivation must be positive on both sides. Whatever you choose to add or subtract, the choice must feel good. Willpower, self-discipline, being down on yourself, guilt-tripping, and denial don’t feel good, which is why the best laid plans of dieters always go astray. They are trying to force a change when the change doesn’t feel good. The inevitable result is a return to old, comforting habits, even when those habits have very little positivity left in them.

Copy the list of positive inputs and put it up in a prominent place.
Buy a weekly calendar with big spaces to write in.
When you begin your day, consult the list and write on the calendar three specific things you intend to do that will add fulfillment to your day.
At the end of the day, check off the ones you accomplished.

Positive input is easy to create. For example, under “Play” you can play a game with a child or a friend or by yourself, whatever brings you pleasure. Or under “contact with friends and family” there are endless choices, beginning with a friendly phone call.

The point is to choose something and follow through. Don’t give a thought to changing your dietary habits unless you feel good about the change, such as having frozen yogurt instead of ice cream or sharing one dessert instead of ordering two. Even fast-food chains now have healthier choices. When you become creative and at the same time maintain your positive input program, you are taking a wellness-system approach to coping with life, and that’s always beneficial.

Secrets for a Wellness Inspired Holiday Season

Exercise, health, holiday, mental health, positive thinking, self care, stress, Uncategorized, weight, wellness

‘Tis the season to spend time with friends, family, and loved ones – and to celebrate, indulge, and be merry.

But, the holiday cheer can also invite quite a setback in your mind-body health goals and wellness routine. To avoid the stress and weight gain of the season – and remain light in your mind and body – follow my guide to indulge, without losing your healthy edge.

Let me show you how to:

EAT healthy and in moderation.
MOVE your body, stretch, and get your heart rate up.
DE-STRESS and balance your emotions during the busy chaos of the holidays.

How do you enjoy the holiday season without falling into the trap of weight gain, sugar crashes, and poor choices? Sticking to a healthy plan is important. However, depriving yourself of certain foods can have negative results. Restrictive eating can lead to binge eating as well as disliking healthy foods by associating them with something you ‘have’ to do. When it’s time to pile food on your plate, eat what you know you love, guilt free, but keep this advice in mind:

If smaller plates are an option, use them. You’ll fill larger plates just because room is available. Second trips are better than overeating on the first round.
If you’re trying something new, only take a bite-size portion.
Eat a snack before you arrive so you aren’t at the onset of the feast.
You fall in love with your Aunt’s new dessert and even though you’re too full to enjoy it, you’re tempted to have a second portion. Instead of grabbing the last bite in fear of not eating it again until next year, ask her to email the recipe out to the whole family for those who can’t wait another year.

Maintain an Exercise Plan

Holiday gatherings often consist of sitting, eating, talking, drinking, and more eating. We often find ourselves sitting for longer periods of time because we enjoy the conversation. Your legs want to move, the food is on the counter, and off you go for food you’re not even hungry for.

This year, try some of these actions with the family to reduce the march to the kitchen:

Go for a 5-10 minute walk after each meal to aid digestion. Increase that walk to 15 minutes after every meal to help lower blood sugar levels, especially after eating holiday sweets. You may be surprised at those who will join you for your walk!
Run/walk the stairs in your home.
Organize a family yoga session, check out YouTube sessions’.
Go for a family hike.
Bring a board game to the family feast. Although you’re still sitting, this can provide some excitement and victory movement. Plus, it’ better than just eating.
Shovel snow
Ice skate
Make snow angels
Dance to Christmas music
Walk the neighborhood or mall to see the holiday decorations.

Stress and fatigue are often unwelcome guests during the holiday season. Stress might join you while cooking a holiday meal, decorating your house in preparation for a party, or shopping at a crowded mall. It can manifest as aches and pains, prevent you from sleeping through the night, and dampen your spirits during the holidays. You can beat back stress, and the inevitable fatigue it causes on your body.

Focus on the Positive – bring your attention to the experiences you most enjoy about the holidays. Try going into each holiday gathering or interaction with a positive and loving intention. It’s easier to maintain a positive attitude when you arrive in that mental state.

Spend Time Outdoors in Nature – spending time outdoors in nature can help enhance mental clarity, energize your mind and body, and connect you to your loved ones as well as the environment.

Let Go of the Past – pretend you are a newcomer to your own family. Approach them with curiosity and excitement. Forget past transgressions, arguments, tears. You are not condoning past wrongs by letting them go; you are just saying they cannot hurt you anymore.

Take Time for Yourself – the holidays can be a time when we put everyone else’s needs first. It’s easy to lose yourself in the chaos of the season. Take some time to reflect on what practices you do to keep you balanced and peaceful throughout the year and make sure to adhere to them when things get crazy.

Stay in the Present – what is the best gift you could give to yourself and others at your holiday gathering? Being present. Cultivate appreciation for your friends and family in your life at the moment.

Hold realistic Expectations – if you become frustrated that the holidays aren’t going according to plan, remember there is no such thing as a perfect family or perfect holiday. What can you learn and how can you grow from your family?

Maintain Your Routine – as much as possible, maintain your typical sleeping, eating, and exercise schedules. Your vitality can be weakened by changes in routine, which can lead to feelings of anxiety or irritation.

Make Clear Requests – your friends and family won’t know what’s important to you unless you voice it. Clearly stating your needs can help to reduce holiday stress and develop closer family ties.

Practice Gratitude – gratitude is a powerful force that you can use to expand your happiness, improve your health, and – you guessed it – help you cope with stress. Organize a time when your family sits down to share what they love about the holidays, or about individual members of the family.

Say Cheese – no one can deny the mind-body connection. So, it you’re looking for a way out of stress, you’ll need to smile more. Organize a family photo shoot or make sure to have your camera on-hand when everyone first arrives to the holiday meal, gathering, or party. Capture those first hugs, ask for the best grins, and snap all those treasured moments. You can revisit them mid-year to remember how great the holidays can actually be.

Make Restful Sleep a Priority – good quality rest is one of the pillars of healthy living. In rhythm with the sun going down and birds flocking to their nests, we should also go to sleep early, ideally before 10pm. If you are a late riser, try shifting your bedtime closer to 10pm by 15 minutes per night. This will give you the time to enjoy nature’s early morning calm, ever-more important during the stressful holiday season.

The Secret to making your holiday inspiring is actually quite simple. Be inspiring yourself. As with any change, you must be the change you want to see in others.

All of us at ELM Mental Wellness wish you and your family a Safe, Happy, Inspiring Holiday Season!

Spiritual Wellness is a personal matter.

health, mental health, positive thinking, relationships, self care, spirituality, stress, therapy, Uncategorized, wellness

The spiritual dimension recognizes our search for meaning and purpose in human existence. It includes the development of a deep appreciation for the depth and expanse of life and natural forces that exist in the universe. Your search will be characterized by a peaceful harmony between internal personal feelings and emotions and the rough and rugged stretches of your path. While traveling the path, you may experience many feelings of doubt, despair, fear, disappointment and dislocation, as well as feelings of pleasure, joy, happiness and discovery. These are all important experiences and components to your search and will be displayed in the value system you will adapt to bring meaning to your existence. You’ll know you’re becoming spiritually well when your actions become more consistent with your beliefs and values, resulting in a “world view.”

Evaluate your own spiritual wellness with this brief quiz.

Do I make time for relaxation in my day?
Do I make time for meditation and/or prayer?
Do my values guide my decisions and actions?
Am I accepting of the views of others?

9 Ways To Improve Your Spiritual Wellness:

Explore you spirituality – When you are examining the core set of your beliefs and principles, you should put forward questions like: Do I know myself? What do I have to realize in my life? If you are persistent you will find the puzzles of your life and realize your innermost goal.
Pray – All you need to do is find a neat and comfortable place to send your prayers.
Clear out the mind garbage – Consider writing down, at the end of the day, your thoughts; the things you wanted to say but didn’t have the chance or simply write down how your day passed. Sharing will give you a sense of relievement and calmness will take you from there.
Yoga – It will relief the physical and emotional tension. All the things like bad emotions and feelings that interrupt your wellbeing will leave permanently.
Finding the purpose – There is saying: The most precious lessons in life aren’t learned in school. And it’s true. In every failure, there is a hidden lesson we must learn. This is how we evolve spiritually. We shouldn’t run away from obstacles and evade them as they will ruin us. They have come to pass.
Think positively – People complain all the time. What they do is stuffing their mind with limiting thoughts that ruin their life eventually. Being concentrated on the positive side of life, you will be a step closer to happiness. It will flourish your growth and make you forget the worries.
Go incognito – When you are incognito, it’s that special time when you can analyze the situation. You can practice it whenever you feel like it. When you are incognito, you can meditate, practice yoga or apply other useful activities.
Travel – Visiting other places is beneficial for your mind. Being all by yourself in a quiet and peaceful surrounding helps you increase the connection with your inner self. Try one of your local parks!

These activities will make sure you are on the right track in improving your spiritual wellness.

ELM Mental Wellness can help guide your spiritual wellness through exploration of readiness, identifying resources, your strengths and solutions. We will explore your willingness and ability to transcend yourself in order to question the meaning and purpose in your life and the lives of others.

How social connections support your health?

emotion, health, mental health, positive thinking, relationships, stress, therapy, Uncategorized, wellness

Are we losing our ability to connect?

Quite simple, Social Wellness refers to your relationships with others.

It encompasses the idea of having positive interactions with others since we are all social beings. It involves developing and building close bonds of friendship and intimacy, practicing empathy and effective listening, as well as caring for others and for the common good.

While we have numerous technologies connecting us to friends, family and people across the country, we find ourselves more and more alone and lonely. Take a moment to observe people in coffee shops or restaurants. Many times conversations are happening over cell phones, between one person who is present and another at the other end of the phone, rather than among the people sitting together. Our behaviors suggest using the technology is primary and having the conversation is secondary. These observations are not intended to criticize technology, but rather to suggest a more mindful use of this tool. Important connections happen electronically and technology can be very useful. It is remarkable the power of a few characters to make you feel connected. Technology isn’t the only force contributing to a disconnection among people. Our culture encourages individualism and distraction from the present moment, materialism, and results rather than progress. We seem to be focused on the relatively insignificant aspects of our lives rather than our happiness, relationships, and well being.

Our social health is affected by social history, cultural values, open-mindedness, and knowledge of healthy relationships.

Social Wellness Facts

Socially isolated people are more susceptible to illness and have a death rate two to three times higher than those who are not socially isolated.
People who maintain their social network and support systems do better under stress.
Approximately 20 percent of Americans feel lonely and isolated during their free time.
Touching, stroking, and hugging can improve health.
Laughter really is good medicine.
Cholesterol levels go up when human companionship is lacking.
Warm, close friendships cause higher levels of immunoglobulin A (an antibody that helps keep away respiratory infections and cavities).
A strong social network can create a good mood and enhance self-esteem.

Social support is thought to impact physical and mental well being in several different ways. Social support provides an individual with a route to receiving psychological and material resources. These resources exist in three categories: instrumental (money or services), informational (advice or important information), and emotional (empathy, caring, trust, and reassurance). Being a part of a community offers various social relationships that provide many different emotional benefits, i.e. experiencing stress-buffering due to sense of belonging. Relationships provide identification with social roles, promote positive psychological conditions such as purpose, meaning, a sense of identity and self-worth.

In my profession of counseling, I work with individuals on a daily basis struggling to connect with others and have meaningful relationships. Here are some guidelines:

Social Wellness Tips

1.Articulate your thoughts both in public and personal conversations.

2.Think before you speak.

3.Volunteer in your community.

4.Make others feel important, while being genuine.

5.Get to know your personal needs and pursue things and people who nurture those needs.

6.Join a club or organization that interests you.

7.Visit neighbors and friends.

8.Contact and make a specific effort to talk to the people who are supportive in your life.

9.Ask questions, and refrain from doing all the talking.

10.Send “Thank You” notes for kind deeds done in your favor.

11.Allow others to care for you.

12.Balance your social life with your personal life.

As you travel the ELM Mental Wellness path, you’ll become more aware of your importance in society as well as the impact you have on multiple environments. You’ll take an active part in improving our world by encouraging healthier living and initiating better communication with those around you.You’ll actively seek ways to preserve the beauty and balance of nature along the pathway as you discover the power to make willful choices to enhance personal relationships and important friendships, and build a better living space and community.

I can help you grow your social wellness by developing:

comfort with expressing yourself
supportive and fulfilling relationships
Attitude towards your relationships (and your willingness to ask for help)
Peer acceptance, close bonds and social skills (like assertiveness or conflict resolution)
The ability to accept others for being different

It is better to contribute to the common welfare of our

community than to think only of ourselves.

It is better to live in harmony with others and our

environment than to live in conflict with them.

How to use Emotions to your advantage.

emotion, health, mental health, positive thinking, stress, therapy, wellness

Do you feel like you can handle whatever life throws at you?

The emotional dimension of wellness recognizes awareness and acceptance of one’s feelings. Emotional wellness includes the range we feel positive and enthusiastic about our self and our life. It includes the capacity to manage feelings and related behaviors including knowing our limits, development of independence, and ability to cope effectively with stress.

Emotions are a part of who we are and how we are perceived by others. Your mood can affect your thoughts and behaviors. Your emotions are affected by certain events like thinking about friends and family and past and future events. Good emotions can motivate and excite us to look forward to new things and activities. When we feel unpleasant emotions, it can be a sign that we don’t want a certain activity or event to occur or continue.

There are good types of stress that make you feel energized, and there are bad types of stress that can have a negative impact on us – not only emotionally but physically as well.

How to deal with situations that cause bad stress: The FOUR A’s

Accept situations that you can not change.
Avoid things and people who cause you stress.
Alter the situations you can change by communicating more effectively,
Adapt to the situation with an open mind and focus on the positive.

(Ideas from http//:www.helpguide.org)

For many of us, it’s not a great disaster that weakens our health but instead how we handle the more frequent everyday stresses of life. So like a rock in a stream, if we do not cope well with daily life our health is slowly worn away until it is time for a significant health effect like a heart attack. P. Granello from Wellness Counseling, 2013.

On the ELM Mental Wellness path, you’ll be able to express feelings freely and manage feelings effectively. You’ll be able to form relationships with others based upon a foundation of mutual commitment, trust, and respect. You’ll take on challenges, take risks, and recognize conflict as being potentially healthy. Managing your life in personally rewarding ways, and taking responsibility for your actions, will help you see life as an exciting, hopeful adventure.

It is better to be aware of and accept our feelings than to deny them. It is better to be optimistic in our approach to life than pessimistic.

Be Well,

Kelle Greeson, LPCC CWC

Owner, ELM Mental Wellness